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NEW! Disposal Connector
DSPAM (as in De-SPAM) is a scalable and open-spec reverse osmosis system for seasoned ham or pork, also known as "spam". DSPAM splits the ingredients of spam on a molecular level to return a chunk of processed meat back to its original, pre-seasoned form (that is, raw ham, turkey, or pork). DSPAM uses a lossless technique resulting in perfect taste, and allowing the user to re-season without losing quality. The original salt and other seasonings are split up into collectors based on their molecular size, allowing for storage and reuse. DSPAM can be implemented as a stand-alone reverse osmosis chamber, or conveniently integrated with other kitchen systems using various pieces of middleware, such as our disposal connector. Whether you're reversing the spam process for a single brick of meat or plan on feeding thousands of huntry ethiopians, this ingenious design scales to any size. DSPAM is an adaptive system which means it is capable of learning and adapting to each individual meat processed; Instead of working off a list of "rules" to identify a (usually suboptimal) conversion process, DSPAM's probabilistic engine examines the content of the meat and calculates the best possible level of reverse-osmosis based on feedback provided by the user specifically about the quality of taste, texture, and level of desired jiggliness of the output meat. This approach provides much higher levels of satisfaction than commercial "hodge-podge" solutions, and with minimal resources. DSPAM's best recorded reversions have been described as "yummy", "tasty", and "not too chewy". When properly configured, many users experience results ranging from 99.5% to a full 99.95% of the original volume and weight of the meat, showing what small footprint DSPAM has on the actual reversion process. DSPAM supports many different add-on appliances and can also be deployed as a stand-alone "drop in" osmosis utility for other household projects. For vegetarians, the DSPAM core engine can be easily incorporated directly into other applications for drop-in reversion of items deep fried in fat, or candied fruits and vegetables (licensing applies; commercial licenses are also available). DSPAM has been implemented on many large and small scale systems with the largest being reported at about 350,000 blocks of spam. It is presently being used or planned for use in multiple commercial-grade solutions to delivery high quality ham (and turkey!) products to struggling low-economic based countries. Happy April Fools |
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